Comedy Sketch- Resort and Spa

Son Vo

Comedy Sketch (3:00)

Sketch #1 Resort and Spa

SFX: Traditional Hawaiian Bongo Music

CHUCK: Welcome to the Meeting Grounds Spa. I am your receptionist, Chuck.

MAN 1: Hi Chuck. I’m finally on vacation, and I figured this spa will do me good; I just need to relax and rest up.

CHUCK: Well that is great young man. Our reputation is at stake. However, there is only one rule at this spa.

MAN 1: I got no beef with you, what is it?

CHUCK: You simply must be a carnivore, which means you only eat meat!

MAN 1: Those are some unusual terms Chuck, but I certainly won’t bust your chops.

CHUCK: Excellent! We do have a few things on our to-do list, come right this way!

SFX: Footsteps, Relaxing music

CHUCK: This is where you can receive your ma-sausages.

MAN 1: I’m sorry, did I mishear you? Did you say massages, or ma-sausages?

CHUCK: Don’t be silly sir, lay down right here.

MAN 1: Well alright, if I could finally relax.

SFX: Sound of one laying on a bed

MAN 1: Well this isn’t so bad.

CHUCK: Indeed! This is the ham radio, if there is something you want to hear, by all means. I’ll go get your masseur, Wellington.

MAN 1: Excellent, I hope he delivers something good.

SFX: Door being kicked down

MAN 1: What in the world is going on!

WELLINGTON: Pardon me for butchering such a relaxing moment; my name is Wellington, your masseur. Close your eyes now, and imagine beautiful grassland full of grazing cows.

MAN 1: What you’re trying to instill in my mind isn’t going to help me.

WELLINGTON: Now, now, sir, I’m only trying to help. Let me place these over your eyes, they’ll be like cucumbers.

MAN 1: what exactly are you putting over my eyes, wait a minute… are these ribs?

WELLINGTON: Rib eyes to be exact.

MAN 1: You know what, perhaps I shall check out what else is on the schedule, perhaps the Poultry Slam, some nice poetry I would hope.

WELLINGTON: Very well sir, let me guide you, it’s across the street.

MAN 1: It’s quite alright Wellington, I’m no chicken, and I’ll get to the other side.

SFX: Cars passing by, loud car horns

MAN 1: Forget this!

SFX: Slamming door open

MAN 1: Chuck! I want my money back, please spare me the drama! I could have been I could have been grounded or roasted. No more please; this place can’t meet my expectations.

CHUCK: I’m sorry to hear that sir, how about a free plane ticket to a country of your choice. You can choose between Chile, Turkey, Bolivia, or Mongolia.

MAN 1: For goodness sakes, I’m just going to travel to the Thousand Islands!