Comedy Sketch (3:00)
Sketch #1 Resort and Spa
SFX: Traditional Hawaiian Bongo Music
CHUCK: Welcome to the Meeting Grounds Spa. I am your receptionist, Chuck.
MAN 1: Hi Chuck. I’m finally on vacation, and I figured this spa will do me good; I just need to relax and rest up.
CHUCK: Well that is great young man. Our reputation is at stake. However, there is only one rule at this spa.
MAN 1: I got no beef with you, what is it?
CHUCK: You simply must be a carnivore, which means you only eat meat!
MAN 1: Those are some unusual terms Chuck, but I certainly won’t bust your chops.
CHUCK: Excellent! We do have a few things on our to-do list, come right this way!
SFX: Footsteps, Relaxing music
CHUCK: This is where you can receive your ma-sausages.
MAN 1: I’m sorry, did I mishear you? Did you say massages, or ma-sausages?
CHUCK: Don’t be silly sir, lay down right here.
MAN 1: Well alright, if I could finally relax.
SFX: Sound of one laying on a bed
MAN 1: Well this isn’t so bad.
CHUCK: Indeed! This is the ham radio, if there is something you want to hear, by all means. I’ll go get your masseur, Wellington.
MAN 1: Excellent, I hope he delivers something good.
SFX: Door being kicked down
MAN 1: What in the world is going on!
WELLINGTON: Pardon me for butchering such a relaxing moment; my name is Wellington, your masseur. Close your eyes now, and imagine beautiful grassland full of grazing cows.
MAN 1: What you’re trying to instill in my mind isn’t going to help me.
WELLINGTON: Now, now, sir, I’m only trying to help. Let me place these over your eyes, they’ll be like cucumbers.
MAN 1: what exactly are you putting over my eyes, wait a minute… are these ribs?
WELLINGTON: Rib eyes to be exact.
MAN 1: You know what, perhaps I shall check out what else is on the schedule, perhaps the Poultry Slam, some nice poetry I would hope.
WELLINGTON: Very well sir, let me guide you, it’s across the street.
MAN 1: It’s quite alright Wellington, I’m no chicken, and I’ll get to the other side.
SFX: Cars passing by, loud car horns
MAN 1: Forget this!
SFX: Slamming door open
MAN 1: Chuck! I want my money back, please spare me the drama! I could have been I could have been grounded or roasted. No more please; this place can’t meet my expectations.
CHUCK: I’m sorry to hear that sir, how about a free plane ticket to a country of your choice. You can choose between Chile, Turkey, Bolivia, or Mongolia.
MAN 1: For goodness sakes, I’m just going to travel to the Thousand Islands!