Thursday, June 27, 2013

Avengers Assemble Comedy Writing

Monica Hunt
Comedy Writing (2:30)
Avengers Assemble.

(The location is a secret building, abandoned, dimly lit.)
SFX: Background chatter, interupted....
Iron Man: Okay! Time to begin this initiation ceremony. Thank you, fellow heroes for showing up for tryouts for the Avengers. As your leader, Iron Man. I strive to get the most popular and radical heroes in the Avengers. Now, I won’t beat around the bush. We are very popular. And we need the most popular heroes in this group. We don’t need any losers like Aquaman around.

Aquaman: (Offended scoff)
SFX: Dolphin noises, ocean waves breaking through a door.
Aquaman: I can see we are not wanted here.

Iron Man: ...Anyways, I have decided to open up auditions for even DC superheroes. With my less important co-judge, Captain America, we are here to find the NEXT Avenger. Let’s get started!

Iron Man: Alright! First hero! We’re ready to see you! Batman, why do you think you would be a great Avenger?
MUS: Dark theme music under....
Batman: (Voice so deep and scruffy, can’t even understand him.) Brufffashavasrrrrrrr.
Iron Man: Uhhhh, could you repeat that, please?

Iron Man: Ummmm …... Next.
MUS: Cut off.

MUS: Superman theme begins and goes under....
Superman: If I were an Avenger. I would make my parents and Krypton proud. As defender of Smallville and the entire world, I think I’m more than qualified to be your next partner.

Iron Man: …. You did just have a recent box office success.... but.... You no longer wear your red underwear on the outside of your suit. For vanity purposes, you can’t look cooler than me. NEXT.
MUS: Superman theme is cut off.

SFX: (WHOOSH, fast sounding run)

Iron Man: What was that?

Flash: You could say I FLASHED before your eyes. Flash here, your NEXT Avenger.

Iron Man: No. I’m the ONLY one that can provide one liners. NEXT!

Iron Man: Cap, we have been through hundreds of auditions today. And no one is less important than me, but still qualified. Maybe it was a mistake to open up and try to find a new member. How hard is it to find a member who won’t be taken as seriously as us and not be as popular?

MUS: Dramatic superhero music under....


Announcer: (Dramatic, deep) The AVENGERRSSSS. Defending our world. IRON MAN.

SFX: Dolphins and ocean waves.
MUS: Over after ocean waves.


  1. I really enjoyed this, Monica. It was funny and well-written. It was easy to follow as well.

  2. I also thought this played well and I could totally hear Robert Downey Jr.'s voice reading this piece! Nice twist on the end, had me chuckling :)

    It'd be funny if Pepper made a guest appearance to bring Iron Man something and he thought she was auditioning. lol

    "America's Next Top Avenger" also popped in my head haha just an idea!