Comedy Sketch-Are You a Good Witch, or a Bad Witch?

Jacki Bubis
Comedy Sketch
(3:00)

                                         Are You A Good Witch, Or a Bad Witch?

SFX: Dream-like “Somewhere Over the Rainbow plays” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP_wx0qrKu0) (:05-:09)

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Calabasas anymore…

SFX: Magical chimes

GLITTER THE GOOD: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I mean, what? I’m not a witch at all. I’m North West.

GLITTER THE GOOD: I’m Glitter the Good…Wait, you’re what?

NORTH KARDASHIAN WEST: North…West.

GLITTER THE GOOD: …You don’t look like a region.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Because I’m not a region!
GLITTER THE GOOD: So you’re just a part of a region, like Idaho?

SFX: Rustling of hay and Crows squawk

SCARECROW: It sounds to me like you’re lost.

GLITTER THE GOOD: Why Scarecrow, she is lost. She believes she’s Northwest.

SCARECROW: Well that’s nonsense, child. You aren’t North West.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I’m not?

SCARECROW: No! You’re in Oz. Oz is neither North nor West, let alone Northwest. It’s just here, and there, and everywhere.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: You don’t understand, my name is North West. Well, North Kardashian “hyphen” West, but the “Kardashian  hyphen” is too long to say, so I just say West. North West…name, not region, not state, just name.

GLITTER THE GOOD: Oh hunny, I would acknowledge the “Kardashian hyphen.” It would save much confusion.

NORTH-KARDASHIAN-WEST: I haven’t even been introduced to the world yet and already I’m the source of all confusion and butt of every joke.

SCARECROW: Well actually if it makes you feel better, your mother’s butt is the butt of every joke.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: It doesn’t make me feel better…

GLITTER THE GOOD: What you need is to see the great and powerful Oz. He’ll know how to help you.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I don’t have time! I have a photo shoot with People Magazine in five minutes!

GLITTER THE GOOD: Well that does pose a problem. I’ve got it With the wave of my magic wand, your name troubles will disappear and so will you, back to where you came from.

SFX: Magical chimes

GLITTER THE GOOD: North…*giggles* West, I hereby give you the quickest fix to a name  that is also a pun…a nickname! The world will hereby know you as “Norry.”

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Wait, “Norry?” No!

GLITTER THE GOOD: It is done.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: NO! “Norry” isn’t better!
GLITTER THE GOOD: Oh, well…sorry, I already waved my wand.

SCARECROW: Yeah, she did. I saw her.

SFX: Magical chimes

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: NO, YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS!

SCARECROW: You’re disappearing, we can’t hear you!
SCARECROW & GLITTER THE GOOD: Goodbye, Norry!
SFX: Hospital heart monitor beeps

MALE PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay, Kimye family, smile big for People Magazine!

SFX: Camera click

MALE PHOTOGRAPHER: “Meet Baby North West,” you’ll be the front cover.

KIM KARDASHIAN: I just got a sudden fabulous idea; let’s call her “Norry.” “Meet Baby North ‘Norry’ West.” Put that on the front cover.

SFX: Baby sobs