Comedy Sketch-Are You a Good Witch, or a Bad Witch?

Jacki Bubis
Comedy Sketch
(3:00)

                                         Are You A Good Witch, Or a Bad Witch?

SFX: Dream-like “Somewhere Over the Rainbow plays” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP_wx0qrKu0) (:05-:09)

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Calabasas anymore…

SFX: Magical chimes

GLITTER THE GOOD: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I mean, what? I’m not a witch at all. I’m North West.

GLITTER THE GOOD: I’m Glitter the Good…Wait, you’re what?

NORTH KARDASHIAN WEST: North…West.

GLITTER THE GOOD: …You don’t look like a region.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Because I’m not a region!
GLITTER THE GOOD: So you’re just a part of a region, like Idaho?

SFX: Rustling of hay and Crows squawk

SCARECROW: It sounds to me like you’re lost.

GLITTER THE GOOD: Why Scarecrow, she is lost. She believes she’s Northwest.

SCARECROW: Well that’s nonsense, child. You aren’t North West.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I’m not?

SCARECROW: No! You’re in Oz. Oz is neither North nor West, let alone Northwest. It’s just here, and there, and everywhere.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: You don’t understand, my name is North West. Well, North Kardashian “hyphen” West, but the “Kardashian  hyphen” is too long to say, so I just say West. North West…name, not region, not state, just name.

GLITTER THE GOOD: Oh hunny, I would acknowledge the “Kardashian hyphen.” It would save much confusion.

NORTH-KARDASHIAN-WEST: I haven’t even been introduced to the world yet and already I’m the source of all confusion and butt of every joke.

SCARECROW: Well actually if it makes you feel better, your mother’s butt is the butt of every joke.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: It doesn’t make me feel better…

GLITTER THE GOOD: What you need is to see the great and powerful Oz. He’ll know how to help you.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: I don’t have time! I have a photo shoot with People Magazine in five minutes!

GLITTER THE GOOD: Well that does pose a problem. I’ve got it With the wave of my magic wand, your name troubles will disappear and so will you, back to where you came from.

SFX: Magical chimes

GLITTER THE GOOD: North…*giggles* West, I hereby give you the quickest fix to a name  that is also a pun…a nickname! The world will hereby know you as “Norry.”

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: Wait, “Norry?” No!

GLITTER THE GOOD: It is done.

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: NO! “Norry” isn’t better!
GLITTER THE GOOD: Oh, well…sorry, I already waved my wand.

SCARECROW: Yeah, she did. I saw her.

SFX: Magical chimes

NORTH KARDASHIAN-WEST: NO, YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS!

SCARECROW: You’re disappearing, we can’t hear you!
SCARECROW & GLITTER THE GOOD: Goodbye, Norry!
SFX: Hospital heart monitor beeps

MALE PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay, Kimye family, smile big for People Magazine!

SFX: Camera click

MALE PHOTOGRAPHER: “Meet Baby North West,” you’ll be the front cover.

KIM KARDASHIAN: I just got a sudden fabulous idea; let’s call her “Norry.” “Meet Baby North ‘Norry’ West.” Put that on the front cover.

SFX: Baby sobs

Jon Stewart set up

1. My next guest is Jon Stewart. As the host of an extremely popular talk show for the last fourteen years, it has to be hard for someone to take an entire summer off of the show, handing the reigns over to someone else. That is exactly what Stewart is doing with his Comedy Central talk show, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I'll let him explain the fascinating reason why.

2. Jon Stewart is a modern example of a Renaissance man. Involved in everything from acting, hosting, writing, and producing, he is now expanding his talent into directing. Here to talk about his directorial debut is the man himself, Jon Stewart.

Jon Stewart Set-up

Nicky Quiles

Jon Stewart Set-up

1:

HI. I’m Nicky Quiles filling in for Joseph Thorne. Tonight we have as special guest; you may know him as the host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show. He also hosted another show in the 90’s called The Jon Stewart Show as well as awards shows. He is here to talk about his many jobs over the years, his great books, and his directorial debut Rosewater.

2:

Hello, I’m your host Nicky Quiles. Tonight we have Jon Stewart on the show here to talk about the wonderful career he has had. A man who started from humble beginnings talks about early career choices and the mega-host he has become. Tonight on The Learner’s Corner.

The Daily Show Set-up

Zach Cieslak

The Daily Show Set-up

:15

Lights, camera, action. The popular Comedy Central “fake” news host of The Daily Show tries a new role in show business. This summer, John Stewart is taking a break from the newsroom and stepping on the other side of the camera. Here to explain his directing debut film, Rosewater, is John Stewart.

Zach Cieslak

The Daily Show Set-up 2

:13

John Stewart, well known newscaster, actor, and comedian, puts away his joke book to share a darker story. This summer John Stewart directs “Rosewater,” a political drama film that portrays a reporter taken hostage. Here to explain the project further is John Stewart.

Sandy Hook Set Up (Two Versions)

Brian Woodworth    

New Town, Connecticut – Set Up

Time (:15)

VERSION ONE

Announcer: A tragedy that broke a nation’s heart as a whole. A day that we will never forget is being remembered 6 months later. The massacre of 26 innocent lives at Sandy Hook Elementary school. Join John Winston and CBS This Morning as he reports on the story for the remembrance held in Edmond Town Hall for those 26 lives that were tragically lost that day. Also, hear from Carlos Soto, brother of hero teacher, Victoria Soto who died on that fatal day protecting her students. Do be prepared- a dry eye shall not be had after hearing this story.

VERSION TWO

Announcer: 6 months after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, John Winston with CBS This Morning has the story of the remembrance ceremony held in Edmond Town Hall, a memorial making sure we remember the victims of the massacre that struck horror in American homes. Especially that of Victoria Soto, who lost her life in protecting her students and a speech from her brother, Carlos, he gave at Capitol Hill on Thursday.

Jon Stewart Intro

Veneese Mollison

Set-ups/Intros
Jon Stewart

My next guest was named America’s Best Talk Show Host by Time Magazine, and one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People. His most successful project to date is Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Now, he is taking a few months off from his show to direct his first feature film, Rosewater. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with me for a few minutes about your project.

Set Up- Jon Stewart

Son Vo

Set-Up #1 (:15)

Jon Stewart Setup

Goodbye for now, says Jon Stewart. What are his reasons for taking a summer hiatus from The Daily Show? Jon Stewart is in the studio for his explanation about his departure and current goals.

The Daily Show, which has spanned over eighteen years’ worth of comedic satire news program, has come to a change with Jon Stewart. He will be leaving for a brief departure in the summer. What is Stewart’s mission, and where will The Daily Show go from here?